My Back Pages
I wrote once before that I’d tell anyone anything except how much I weighed. It’s not true. I won’t tell anyone that I was molested in nursery school. It’s … Continue reading
Kenny from South Park and the Importance of Being Walter
Until March, when I took care of Walter and Kenny for my friend Rachael, I didn’t understand the whole dog thing. I loved Hoover, my father and stepmother’s dog, but … Continue reading
Ain’t Too Proud to Beg
I’ve spent the last 14 weeks dogsitting. That’s why I haven’t been blogging; I blog out of a desire to connect, and despite being dogs, Walter and Kenny have met … Continue reading
Older, Wiser, and Happy to be Half-Assed
Yesterday was my birthday. As soon as I woke up, I thought about everything I told myself I’d do to mark the day: quit smoking, lay off the caffeine, … Continue reading
Honey, I’m Home, or Swimming Pools, Movie Stars
I shouldn’t have been shaky about covering the junket for Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters 3D this past weekend. I mean, while I may have taken public transportation to the Four … Continue reading
When New Things Happen to Old People
I’ve been in denial. I was convinced that the mailed offers to join AARP were sent in error, and, when an ad for a dating service appeared on my Facebook … Continue reading
Cheerful and Uplifting Words About the Hardest Job in Rock and Roll
My father suggested that I write a cheerful and uplifting post. It was after I said I was writing about my experience at Outside Lands for my blog; it was … Continue reading
Fuck This Job Thing
I’ve made a decision. I’m not looking for a job anymore. I’m planning to join the ranks of the people that unemployment analysts refer to as “discouraged” just as soon … Continue reading
Mariah, the High Priestess of Late
Over the years I worked as a talent executive, I got used to artists being late. Puffy once kept our crew waiting for five hours, and Madonna was always way behind, … Continue reading
PS: You’re an Idiot
I’m writing out of spite. I’m demonstrating exactly the juvenescence that I was accused of yesterday, when, in an impromptu exit interview, my former housemate Bette told me I was … Continue reading
Fucked: A Cautionary Tale
I’m horrified. I woke up this morning truly knowing that the best part of my life is behind me, and that, in the worst possible way, it’s all downhill from … Continue reading
Good News, Sober, Bad News, Fat
I’ll talk about almost anything except exactly how much I weigh. All I’ll say is that I’ve gained 23 pounds since the last time I worked up the courage to … Continue reading
In Which I Finally Unfriend (and Block) My Repulsive Ex
I’m not only going to unfriend my ex on Facebook, I’m going to block him. I feel good about this. It’ll be my second favorite Facebook-related interaction ever. … Continue reading
Live From The Grayish Carpet 