Fuck This Job Thing
I’ve made a decision. I’m not looking for a job anymore. I’m planning to join the ranks of the people that unemployment analysts refer to as “discouraged” just as soon … Continue reading
Mariah, the High Priestess of Late
Over the years I worked as a talent executive, I got used to artists being late. Puffy once kept our crew waiting for five hours, and Madonna was always way behind, … Continue reading
PS: You’re an Idiot
I’m writing out of spite. I’m demonstrating exactly the juvenescence that I was accused of yesterday, when, in an impromptu exit interview, my former housemate Bette told me I was … Continue reading
Victoria (Like the Kinks Song)
“I need to get home,” Victoria said. “I have a long day of staring at the walls ahead of me.” “Me too,” I said. “Those walls aren’t going to … Continue reading
The Atlanta Incident, or Oasis and Me
If you could make your way through Oasis’ Manchester accents and sort out what they were saying, you’d sort out that at least 50% of the time what they were … Continue reading
Fucked: A Cautionary Tale
I’m horrified. I woke up this morning truly knowing that the best part of my life is behind me, and that, in the worst possible way, it’s all downhill from … Continue reading
Good News, Sober, Bad News, Fat
I’ll talk about almost anything except exactly how much I weigh. All I’ll say is that I’ve gained 23 pounds since the last time I worked up the courage to … Continue reading
The 51st Airborne Division, or I Was a Teenage Freak
Like every small town in America, social survival in the the New England town I grew up in required choosing a clique. There were the standard options — the Jocks … Continue reading
In Which I Finally Unfriend (and Block) My Repulsive Ex
I’m not only going to unfriend my ex on Facebook, I’m going to block him. I feel good about this. It’ll be my second favorite Facebook-related interaction ever. … Continue reading
Johnny Banger and Me
Monday I know this is going to sound Mountain-outta-Molehill. But it’s not. It was my Higher Power showing up in my life. I went to two meetings on Sunday. I … Continue reading
Me and Bobby Brown
“Yo, it’s Bobby,” Bobby Brown said. “What up?” “What’s up? You called me.” That’s what I said. I learned to be indignant when I worked for MCA Records. I learned … Continue reading
A Selective Guide: Grammy Parties 2015
You’d think that by now I’d have this Grammy thing down. I went to the Grammys for the first time in 1989, the year that Jethro Tull beat Metallica in … Continue reading